FUCK

My babies are gone. Why should I fucking care?!?!

Lovingly remembering Prudence (April 2, 1999-January 13, 2006) on this day, the anniversary of her birth

Oh those were good days, my dearest Pru-pru.

Those days you were with us, running around, loving us, being loved, just being there, so beautiful, so gentle.

Happy birthday, dearest baby.

You are loved and remembered always.

To cry again

I cried again today.
Every time I see death in a movie, I think of Vixen.
My dearest baby.
How could I have lived so long without you?

Waiting, waiting

My dearest babies are gone.
I miss them everyday.
I still cry.
Why am I still alive?

Feeling very down

I've been feeling very down and lonely these days. Without the alcohol to "change the world," to speak, I miss my babies so much. I miss my Boobie, my Almond, and especially my Vixen, the last of them to go. My babies are gone, they who were the best in life, of life to me. The world is bleak now. Hope is fading.

What is there now but just darker days? I must find the courage to end it all.