Lovingly remembering my Baby Almond (Dec. 16, 1994-June 2, 2007), who was born 19 years ago today

My dearest Almond.
My Comebaby, my Mondy, my Alimondmond, my Alimondy.
Six years now I've been without you. In all those six years, I've wished you were here...or that I could be with you wherever you are, even in ashes.
You brought so much joy and comfort and consolation to my life.
Sometimes I smile when some memories come. The way you played with Boobie or watched him helplessly as he played with a piece of paper that you wanted.
How you were so happy to see me when I was away for days in 2000.
How you would jump from the stairs even when pregnant, or how you'd race to the door with Boobie and Vixen even though your belly was bulging with puppies.
How you'd demand that I take you on my lap as I watched TV so that you could sleep on me. How you'd just keep licking my leg.
Those were the days. Those were beautiful, wondrous days. After all, you were with me.
I love you, my baby, and I miss you.
I will love you always. Always.

Goodbyes

I've said goodbye many times.
The truth is I never have.

Lovingly remembering Greta, who left this world Nov. 7, 1998

You were never actually mine, but I loved you.
We had to let you go, as you had gone so frail.
You gave laughter to us as you howled at certain songs.
So beautiful.
Be at peace, my baby.
We love you always.

Lovingly remembering Five (Feb. 8, 1998-Sept. 30, 2012), who left this world a year ago today

My dearest Five,
It was a hard day, that day we let you go. But I knew, we knew, it had to be done. You were wasting away. Why let such a beautiful life go through such pain?
It was over. Still you held on. You were that strong.
You were the alpha of alphas, stronger than Boobie and Vixen. The supreme alpha, surviving two toad poisonings. The strongest of them all.
I wish I could have given you more love than I had, I had my own babies to take care of.
Be at peace, dearest Five, alpha of alphas.
I will love you always.

Remembering my dearest Vixen (Sept. 1, 1998-December 20, 2011), born this day 15 years ago, always loved, always in my heart

My dearest Vixen,
How I have missed you. This day was always so special when you were around. Now I'm just sad, because you're not here.
You are always with me. Every day I feel the ache of waking up without you. Every day I feel the want to just let go. Every day I want to hold you again, my Sensen, my Hunhun, my Bebiah.
My dearest baby, you made life worth living.
Even now, it often hits me, living life without you.
Ever since you left, ever since I let you go, life has been a struggle. I keep you in my heart always. I will always love you, my dearest Sensen, my Vickysensen.
I wish I could be with you again, if only in ashes.