Three babies in a dream

I dreamed I was with you again, my babies Boobie, Almond, Vixen.

I was feeding you chicken, each of you waiting your turn for a piece. You were alive again, and near, my lovely, lovely babies.

How I wish I could have stayed in that dream, or that I could just go to it every time I sleep...and one day just stay there, never again to awake.

I miss you so much, my babies. Life has been dark and meaningless without you. I wish for a final mercy that never comes.

I love you, my babies, my Boobie, my Almond, my Vixen. How I wish to be with you again.

On All Saints Day 2012

This All Saints Day and this All Souls Day, I remember the babies who have gone, babies who live in my heart, in memory, loved always:

Boobie, Almond, Vixen, Garpy, Prudence, Greta, Five, Gums, Eenie, Minnie, Minie, Moe, Fuzz, Thor, Shad, Sad Sack, Frankie, Jelly, Jam, Pretty, Star, Danka, Clio, Sarge, Poopsie 1 & 2, Hannah, Googie, Hali, Baka, Bunga, Little Dapple and the newborn puppies who never lived long.

Ganda, Drums, Zazu, Kitty, Galahad, Little Cute, the unnamed, the simply disappeared: Scarian, Nala, Simba, Bait, Chabilita, et al.

Loves lost is nothing compared with lives lost.

Remains and ashes

If you're reading this, please have my ashes scattered on the same ground where my babies are buried.

Kaisy

It was nice seeing Kaisy again.

She can cool hell itself and make mud sparkle.

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Sometimes, or often, or whatever, it feels as if I just don't care anymore. Who knows, I may be at the end of my days. Just let me know, give me a sign, so I can make preparations.

My babies, I miss you terribly.