In loving memory of Garpy (December 29, 1982-August 10, 1991), born 31 years ago today

My dearest Garpy,

When you came into my life, you made my world bearable. I was devastated by a loss (Eenie). You lifted my heart.

How many times did I work at night, writing or trying to write, and you would stay awake, playing with a bone, because I was there?

How many times did you sleep on my chest, late at night?

You were the light in the darkness.

My baby Garpy, my Garpolito.

Happy birthday, "dear darling of my soul."

I love you, and always will.

Lovingly remembering my dearest Vixen (Sept. 1, 1998-Dec. 20, 2011), who left this world two years ago today

My dearest Vixen,

It's been two years since I lost you, two years since I let you go.

Life has been dark without you. There are good days, yes, but that sense of contentment is gone. There was purpose when you were there. There was that everyday joy, quiet and small, but filling to the heart.

I miss you every day, my Sensen, my baby. I wrote before that if I lose you, I would lose everything. In many ways, I was right. Life just hasn't been the same.

Of course, I smile. I remember the good times, having you around, hearing the way you "howled" or feeling you licking my feet as you passed. Seeing you walking around with a potato in your mouth. Seeing you across the living room, your head going up and down, your jaw snapping at nothing, as you just looked at me with excitement.

I miss you so much, my Hunhun, my baby. Were I a braver man I would have joined you in ashes long ago.

Maybe fate will be kind, finally, and we can again be together.

I love you, my dearest Vixen, and I will love you always. I carry you in my heart always. Not a day goes by when I do not think about you, of you. And the pain always comes.

There is a world between us. May fate be kind and bring us together again soon.

I love you, my baby. I love you.

Lovingly remembering my Baby Almond (Dec. 16, 1994-June 2, 2007), who was born 19 years ago today

My dearest Almond.
My Comebaby, my Mondy, my Alimondmond, my Alimondy.
Six years now I've been without you. In all those six years, I've wished you were here...or that I could be with you wherever you are, even in ashes.
You brought so much joy and comfort and consolation to my life.
Sometimes I smile when some memories come. The way you played with Boobie or watched him helplessly as he played with a piece of paper that you wanted.
How you were so happy to see me when I was away for days in 2000.
How you would jump from the stairs even when pregnant, or how you'd race to the door with Boobie and Vixen even though your belly was bulging with puppies.
How you'd demand that I take you on my lap as I watched TV so that you could sleep on me. How you'd just keep licking my leg.
Those were the days. Those were beautiful, wondrous days. After all, you were with me.
I love you, my baby, and I miss you.
I will love you always. Always.