Lovingly remembering Five (Feb. 8, 1998-Sept. 30, 2012), who left this world a year ago today

My dearest Five,
It was a hard day, that day we let you go. But I knew, we knew, it had to be done. You were wasting away. Why let such a beautiful life go through such pain?
It was over. Still you held on. You were that strong.
You were the alpha of alphas, stronger than Boobie and Vixen. The supreme alpha, surviving two toad poisonings. The strongest of them all.
I wish I could have given you more love than I had, I had my own babies to take care of.
Be at peace, dearest Five, alpha of alphas.
I will love you always.

Remembering my dearest Vixen (Sept. 1, 1998-December 20, 2011), born this day 15 years ago, always loved, always in my heart

My dearest Vixen,
How I have missed you. This day was always so special when you were around. Now I'm just sad, because you're not here.
You are always with me. Every day I feel the ache of waking up without you. Every day I feel the want to just let go. Every day I want to hold you again, my Sensen, my Hunhun, my Bebiah.
My dearest baby, you made life worth living.
Even now, it often hits me, living life without you.
Ever since you left, ever since I let you go, life has been a struggle. I keep you in my heart always. I will always love you, my dearest Sensen, my Vickysensen.
I wish I could be with you again, if only in ashes.